Friday, July 30, 2010

Fridays

Fridays afford me the joy of a day off, although usually spent in some activity related to work, around my own work or actually working (because they don't stop calling from work), it is my day. I am up at my usual time, who needs an alarm clock, right? I had hoped to sleep in but woke up just before 6 dreaming a very strange dream. I was going to some type of church gathering with a very old boyfriend (from my senior year) and after watching some demonstration (the men and women were seperated), we returned to his home. The house looked like something out of the Waltons. Upon entering the house at night (everyone was in bed), I noticed that multiple rooms were empty, as if someone had just moved out. I took note of debris and dirt in the carpet/rooms and said, I will have to take care of that in the morning. So like me, to see something that needs being done and do it. I woke up right after making my mind to clean up the empty places of this house.

I have no idea what it meant, although I know houses represent people in dreams. I couldn't help but wonder if I was in Patrick's "house" where it needs some cleaning up and furniture. Either way, I don't know and it really doesn't matter. I made a decision this morning, after getting my first cup of java, that if charity is something I am suppose to do on a regular basis, it should start with home. Don't they say that charity begins at home anyway? I called Chuck in Jamestown at Pat's favorite grocery store, told him that he was in need of food and could I get a gc for $100. When Chuck asked me when he was coming, I said I didn't know, he needed to find a ride...Chuck said, I will call him and go get him, and take him back home. You can't imagine how touched I felt, I am nearly crying now as I write this. Random acts of kindness, maybe it is contagious. It made me even happier knowing that Patrick could take his time, not rush because someone is waiting outside to take him back home and even have some socialization. I pray that it gives him hope, that it gives him strength to keep on keeping on....I wish there was so much more I could do...I love you Patrick!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Patrick

Where do I begin...with Patrick, my twin, who I feel connected to and responsible for in so many ways. He called me tonight and I listened to him share his life and emotions. My heart went out to him, knowing how hard he struggles with loneliness, isolation and poverty. I listen, I coach, I suggest, I encourage and still many times I feel I don't make a difference, that I can't change his world...truly I know that only he can change his world...

What do we do when we see things stacked so high that they are ready to topple down on top of someone's head? How far do we go to attempt to rescue them and keep them safe? How do you know... I love him so and I truly want to make a difference. I know I can't save him but I wish sometimes I could...

July 29, 2010

I have created a blog, mental meanderings...so those who love and really want to know the inner workings of my mind can explore here...welcome aboard, I am really excited about this...