Wednesday, August 11, 2010

a new day dawns

How ironic to be here now, understanding everything with perfect clarity...especially my dream now. I knew it was about you, but I just couldn't figure it out. I really thought it was symbolic, not literal...lol.  I don't know why I was given the gift of sight, perhaps it was so I would always be ready to handle anything that would come my way. My mother had always told me that my namesake, Nana Jane had this gift. Nana Jane knew she was leaving early and how sad she was to not be there to see her grandbabies grow...

So many gifts, so many memories...so much love and joy flowing and coursing through our hearts and our veins. My prayer Patrick is that you would continue your work around us...that the "clue" would spread like wildfire and in a flash we all could be connected finally. The collective consciousness, dialed into one another with pettiness and hate leaving us finally.
Martian Keitel summarized it so well, he said:

Are we just machines receiving data and converting it into something that can be processed in our brains? Of course not. We also produce more data as a reaction to the data that comes to us. And what is the element in us that determines how we respond to our surroundings?


It was said that the information from our senses goes to our brains. But the brains can't be compared to a machine like the sensitive organs can. The senses work in a systematical way. They always do their job similarly. Of course they can get faults or they can wear out in time, but they have a certain task to do and they do it systematically and constantly. However, the brains both receive and output selectively. This selection is based on our consciousness.


Consciousness is what really makes us human beings. After all, we couldn't realize the flow of sights, sounds, smells and tastes without having a consciousness, not to talk about making decisions based on these.

We will talk further on the role of DNA and our genetic coding later.


We always knew our gifts, you and I Patrick...old souls traveling together and how we used to laugh about this family we were put into. All the pain, fear, stress and rejection we had to bear...much like labour that always feels unbearable while enduring it and then finally we deliver and life is born...creation.

I also remember our many conversations about Maslow's hierarcy of needs and how we must first meet our basic primal needs before we can transcend to the next level and how so few people actually become self-actualized in their lifetimes...I smile now thinking of all our efforts and triumphs to meet your physiological, although you had totally scored on all the other levels of his pyramid. "You rule Spatty!" I know Patrick had made it to the top and found a way to stay self-actualized through his beliefs and the life he led, although he struggled so hard to keep his head above water in his material poverty....but he was so rich with life.

I love you Patrick. I started this blog as a way for you to pop in and connect with my heart/soul/mind and emotions. Although we talked so often, I thought it might comfort you to be able to come here and see the love I have for you. I know how devasted you were that you were losing two of your dearest friends, Mr. Kerr and Matthew through distance. How Ironic is the meaning of the names Stephen ~ crowned and Matthew ~ god's gift. You were crowned (representing a level of the highest possible achievement or attainment) and god's gift from Jackie to you was Matthew. I told her this last night as she was having anxiety in seeing her former boyfriend. What a gift!

In closing, I get it...grin...the blog was for you Patrick and now I can put everything here to share with those who are grieving losing you. It was created with the intention of "for your eyes only", but I realize after many days of holding crying friends and total strangers writing to me (us) that we all need this blog.

I will continue to teach the lessons dear wombie, I won't let them forget....